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Dear 24 writers,

I know I’ve criticized you in the past. I’ve rolled my eyes at the way Jack’s self-healing abilities rival the cheerleader chick on Heroes. I have questioned how Jack can recover and keep going despite heart attacks, herion withdrawl, blows to the head, broken ribs, car/plane crashes and prolonged periods of imprisonment and torture.

You have obviously taken this critism to heart. Good for you. I commend you for paying at least a little attention to the limits of human physiology.

That said, the next few episodes would be a really good time to pull the antidote to Weaponized CJD out of your asses. I will happily suspend my disbelief, all will be forgiven (except for killing Bill and resurrecting Zombie!Tony) and thank you for the lovely outdoor hosing off. *points to icon*

Kiefer: Your awesomeness knows no bounds. You completely deserve another Emmy/Golden Globe/SAG/People’s Choice/ACTRA/ or any other pretty trophy your industry gives out. I cheer any occasion which requires you to dress up and act all humble and gracious. I realize that nothing says "Acting Award" like wibble-induceing suffering.

But it is REALLY NECCESARY for you to twirl my intestines like so much spegetti and keep backing up over my heart with your Ford truck or whatever it is that you drive?

Jack: For a fantasy TV boyfriend, you are one HELL of a lot of work. I never had this much trouble with Captain Jean-Luc Picard. Even when he was abducted by the Borg.

Lots of love,



( 24 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 5th, 2009 10:38 pm (UTC)
Dear 24. I second this. A lot. A lot a lot a lot.

And word. Even Mulder was less work.

Oh and if I could stop imagining end of season with "What Sarah Said?" that would AWESOME.

Edited at 2009-04-05 10:39 pm (UTC)
Apr. 5th, 2009 10:44 pm (UTC)
Hee. we both have Death Cab on the brian. *points to above entry*

"Jack is a pretend person. Jack is a pretend person. Jack is a pretend person."

The above mantra is totally NOT WORKING.
Apr. 5th, 2009 10:57 pm (UTC)

I know. I'm trying not to think about it. I'm just - augh - I was so flaily last night I invented a new word for bad news - FLEEP.
Apr. 5th, 2009 10:58 pm (UTC)
"FLEEP" That's great. May I use it sometimes?
Apr. 5th, 2009 11:05 pm (UTC)
GO AHEAD. Seriously it's like FLAIL+MEEP = FLEEP.

I need rest of season on DVD right now.
Apr. 5th, 2009 11:23 pm (UTC)
Apr. 5th, 2009 11:27 pm (UTC)
FLIBBLE FLEEP -- it sounds like we're talking alien.
Apr. 6th, 2009 02:06 am (UTC)
Yeah I had to add that I am kinda worshipping at the feet of "fleep." I hope you don't mind if I borrow, as I fear that's all I'll be doing until. . . oy. I don't even know. GAHHHHHHH.
Apr. 6th, 2009 02:25 am (UTC)

I love how your icons are either Renee or your boys :)

Yes. I coined that when talking to a friend last night and she said something and the only rational response was FLEEP.
Apr. 6th, 2009 12:19 am (UTC)
Wait Jack is a pretend person?
Apr. 6th, 2009 12:23 am (UTC)
*shhhhh* Don't tell Justice Scalia. It will break his widdle heart.
Apr. 6th, 2009 12:18 am (UTC)
Dear 24,

Screw you for making me watch you this year of all years. Double screw you for making me fall so head over heels in love with Jack Bauer that I have to invent other things to think about all week so I don't want to vomit at the thought of his imminent DEATH. Also, screw you for making me ship like a mofo again when I had really and truly renounced all shipping for the rest of my life.

Dear Jack,

If I were not hopelessly in love with you, I would kill you myself right now for putting me through this.

Dear Mulder,

I used to yell and scream and you a lot for being filled with angst and pain. I take it all back now. My bad.

Signed with bad handwriting caused by flailing,
Apr. 6th, 2009 12:31 am (UTC)
The Simpsons just ended, and I had the foresight to change the channel before seeing the trailer for the next Ep, which they usually show. Beacuse not seeing the trailer will totally change the future. Right? RIGHT?

Kings is kinda compelling.

I am avioding spoliers for Day 8. Just tell me that Jack will be in Day 8. That's all I need to know.

Is there a term for falling in love with TV Characters? Is it a sign of some sort of mental illness? Because if so, I am SCREWED. It dosn't happen very often: There was the original Starbuck (I was 12, okay) Captian Picard, and Jack. But when I do have a pretend romance it is HUGE.

I should add that I am very happily single. But you and cybertooth are married and also have the Jack love. Interesting.
Apr. 6th, 2009 01:31 am (UTC)
Oh and see now is where I hate me for never watching TV ever ever except 24, because I would have killed to see the second preview. Apparently there's a different one from the one they played at the end of last week. I'll probably have to settle for seeing it ten minutes before the show when I get settled on the couch for the squeefest.

Yeah I don't fall hard often either, but when I do, look out! Still, despite the fact that I seem to be fearing Jack's possible death more than I might an actual person's, I'm actually really good at keeping fake life and real life separate, so it all works out okay. Mostly I think my poor husband wants to escape so he doesn't have to hear me screech. Up until now the SCUBA has totally saved him.

And yeah, I've read WAY more than four places that Jack's going to be in day eight. I'm just saying that. . . ugh you guys and your no spoilers are hard to talk to. I'm not fully comforted yet. That's all I'm saying.

Apr. 6th, 2009 01:35 am (UTC)
Boo for spoliers. I just want to know that Jack survives. That's all.

To date, I think that Season Five had the most awful ending. I can't watch it. I am so glad that I wasn't as emtionally attached to Jack then as I am now.
Apr. 6th, 2009 01:42 am (UTC)
Well all I can say is that y'all had better be here for me this summer when I get all the DVDs and dive in headfirst. I really just. . . oy. I'm so torn. I want the back story and I love Jack as much as it is possible to love a fake human being. But watching him being put through all the torment and pain that goes with the first six seasons. . .

Plus the part where Teri dies will kill me. I know this. I've seen Jack's soliloquy to Nina in the plane, and I cried. No lie. I am made of lameness.
Apr. 6th, 2009 02:39 am (UTC)
Oh honey. S5 is gonna kill you.
Apr. 6th, 2009 02:44 am (UTC)
Fleep! Seriously I don't know why I've gotten myself into this.
Apr. 6th, 2009 01:01 am (UTC)
I just confirmed from 4 differnt sources that Kiefer has signed on For Day 8. Now I can breathe. Sort of.

Apr. 6th, 2009 01:11 am (UTC)
Oh I've been reading that (and a whole lot more) for weeks and I'm still fleeping (such a great word!). You are clearly made of stronger stuff than I am. Meh.
Apr. 6th, 2009 02:36 am (UTC)

Seriously, 24 writers. Do not mess this up. (points to icon)
Apr. 6th, 2009 11:08 am (UTC)
I wil try to ENJOY tonight's ep. Yeah, right.

I need to make more icons
Apr. 6th, 2009 06:53 pm (UTC)
LOL! The fun thing is, ususally everyone tries to kill the writers when they get too unrealistic. Now they brought us to a point who no one will mind if they are unrealistic. Nice move. ;)

Damn, I wish I was afraid for him. Strangely I am not. This is just not it! ^__^ But I wouldn't trust the sources. What if it's just one big ploy to keep us distracted? Season 8 news, Kiefer running around telling the press how he would like to see Jack die - maybe it's all just mind game to fool us. ;)

Sadly I am much more worried about Larry at the moment than Jack. :\

But I hope they keep this game going for a while. The longer this takes, the more sure it is for Kiefer to win this years Emmy. XD
Apr. 6th, 2009 06:58 pm (UTC)
Thank you SO much for being the voice of calm reason amongst all the wild flibbling. You are probably right, the writers like to play with our feelings.

Henseforth, I am going to try to sit back and enjoy the ride.

Yes, Larry is in a tight spot right now. I love how the Private Army is the villian. The monster in the back yard, as Taylor put it. Brilliant.

Edited at 2009-04-06 07:03 pm (UTC)
( 24 comments — Leave a comment )